He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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