Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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