She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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