Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
