Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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