the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
