YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
