Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
