i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think I just sharted jello shots
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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