The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
