Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
