you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Text me some of your sweat
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
