she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
