I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
