Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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