Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
