I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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