No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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