I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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