I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
