Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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