i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Houston, we have a blender
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
