Umm I'm too high to move.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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