My nipple is on Facebook.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize