Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
