Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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