I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
