Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
