she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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