She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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