Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
