I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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