You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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