i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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