if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I wear drunk well.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
