can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
