this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
