yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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