Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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