If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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