Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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