Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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