You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
