He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
