FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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