so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We need to get me chipped asap
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
