I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
God, I missed his penis.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
