She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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