Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She bit a glass in half.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
