it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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