i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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