so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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