Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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