My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
