Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
